I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize