I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
