your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
