We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
