I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize