I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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