Your tits are I can't wait for
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
