my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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