Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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