well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
