He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
