i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
