I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
