In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
