She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
