we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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