I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize