she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
