My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
