My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
