you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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