Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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