i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
