you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
dude. I can hear the air.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
