shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
