I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
