There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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