btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
