Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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