I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
