So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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