the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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