me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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