Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
