Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
