I'm pants shitting drunk right now
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
