Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
