We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
