I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
