There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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