Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
