you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How external is "for external use only"?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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