Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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