I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
