:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
