Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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