Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
