Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
