I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
