so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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