in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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