do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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