my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
