I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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