he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
