This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
