Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
