do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
