I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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